Worry is me
I have a bunch of worries ... in most cases sparsely researched, nebulously unformed, and possibly, unfounded. My ingestion of Ritalin is arguably supposed to temper those debilitating mental segues, and instill an underlying sense of calm I can use as a basis for not feeling so hamstrung by my worries.
But, still ... I worry
I worry about the safety of my wife. She commutes to the "big" city on an almost daily basis. The highway that transports her is probably one of the most scenic two lane byways in all of North America, and it can also be quite dangerous with multiple blind curves, intermittently soft shoulders, and questionably marked passing opportunities. In concert with the extreme wintry driving conditions, the influx of ill-prepared and novice summertime RV drivers, and the impatient--and sometimes intoxicated--driving practices of the year round locals this highway has been the venue for a number of traffic related fatalities. Without digging too deep, I can think of at least 7 or 8 deaths in the last couple of years, and this, coupled with the fact that my wife drives like a New Yorker even though we live in podunk Alaska makes me worry.
I worry about the eventual demise of our planet. The recent tsunami in Japan enabled tons of nuclear radiation to permeate that ecosystem, I release smaller amounts of green house gases into the atmosphere every time I take our recyclables to the recycling center, and our culture's capitalist entities cannot seem to remove their greed-colored glasses long enough to enact measures that would help slow the poisoning of the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the earth we live on.
A new worry to worry
Recently there has been some media buzz pertaining to the shortage of Ritalin ... and now I got another worry. Ritalin helps me to focus; in this particular situation it helps me to focus on my worries. Ritalin also helps me to act instead of stewing in stagnation, hence the creation of this blog post. I'm worried that if I can't get my preferred psycho-stimulant I'll lose the advances I have realized so far in my journey, and that ultimately the world really will end. So, bolstered by methylphenidate, I started surfing the web for more concrete information. What I began to surmise was that some folks think the shortage is due to manufacturing delays, and other folks think ADD/ ADHD is over diagnosed, and that this is responsible for the subsequent shortage. And, ultimately there are a lot of other folks out there who are just plain worried.
Ritalin or no, I'm going to try not to worry. Rather, once I'm seemingly hogtied by my worries I am going to remind myself that knowledge is power, and that all I can really do is take responsibility for myself. And, incessant worrying without any sort of action does not really help anybody.
But, when my wife and I are in the car together, I still want to be the one behind the wheel ... except when we're in New York City.