Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Hen pecked as second in a twosome, Peck is now a hyperbolic tyrant with a serfdom of three more for a total of four.

ADHD whispers to chickens

Raising your voice with chickens just scares them

It has gotten pretty dramatic around my house lately. Suddenly there is a force of nature in the hen house who believes the world rotates solely around her. When the flock was only two birds this particular girl was a second fiddle with the battle scars to prove it. Her universe was jostled a little bit when two new inhabitants  materialized and started vying for space in the coop.

After only a couple of hours, Peck--short for Hen Pecked--became so belligerent and aggressive towards the interlopers that we found it necessary to confine her solitarily  She specifically had singled out one of the newbies as the recipient of such violent interaction that the poor girl literally flew the coop. We thought it best to assert our own will pertaining to who gets voted out of the chicken yard.
Supposedly, once we reintroduced her to the community she'd be the new chicken and would not be in a position to assault the others; I guess the wisdom is that chickens realign the pecking order when that order is disrupted by the addition or subtraction of members.
In our microcosm of the chicken realm this has become somewhat true.
Peck's attacks on the recent additions are more evenly meted out now, and the aggressions themselves have seemed to mellow somewhat.
And now that Peck knows there's an alternate coop where she can have some privacy while laying her eggs, she demands to be whisked to this venue for the daily task, then returned to the communal pen for all the other aspects of her chicken life which seems to mostly involve walking the fence line and squawking obscenities and challenges towards the back of our house.

I really empathize with her selfish antics; begrudgingly I'll admit that her mind set in some ways has also been mine in the not to distant past. Yet, my knee jerk reaction is to get rid of this bitch. When she's parsed from the rest of the girls there's just so much more evidence of communal interaction, then Peck is reunited with her litter mate, Hen, and the new girls, Queen Big Comb and Princess Most Feathers and a chaotic dictatorship ensues.

If egg production were the only issue Peck would be exiled; her recent acting out has emphatically hindered the overall output. However, we're more interested in at least trying to find some modicum of civility amongst the denizens of the coop as a whole.

So, I continue to give Peck the benefit of the doubt and I can only hope that accepting that damn bird as a member of the family will pay us back with a larger embryo bounty.

I imagine that in my own life there's been times when those folks inhabiting my own little universe have put up with my self serving bullshit, incessant bitching and less than hospitable interactions.

For the time being, Peck enjoys a reprieve.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

ADHD & Naming it.

I heard a story recently that has been sitting with me a short time now, partly because it involves two people from my fondly remembered past.
The two worked together for a time and the gist of the tale is that the one relating the remembrance was named "Something Shiny" by the other one.
For the record, the name was applied because the storyteller could not make it through business meetings without being distracted by something shiny.
Those of us close to ADHD knew the context immediately, yet I proffer explanation here for the sake of continuity.
What I find so fulfilling in this vignette is that Shiny was completely comfortable with the moniker when it was assigned; I know that the name's author intended no malice. And, just as I'd expect, there was no bitterness in the retelling of the long past event on this  particular day.
It really was just a contented acceptance of who ADHD is, and validation that being ADHD is perfectly okay.

I find my greatest comfort in the humor of the situation. Being able to laugh when confronted with the ramifications of one of my personal absurdities is what makes my whole effort palatable. Certainly, a propensity for just laughing it off is not necessarily healthy. I submit here that finding whimsy in the mental hiccups is a first line coping skill which then allows me to filter the more salient aspects for ruminating an intentional response.

I could choose to be defensive, introverted,  disgruntled, frustrated, etc. about how my journey unfolds before me. Those emotions and characteristics tend to define a course towards darkness and depression, and after years of exploring that realm I'm quite willing to choose sunnier climes.

I look forward to sharing the stories of ADHD as I travel; well armed with an empathetic clarity I can continue to re-purpose the memories of my past while manufacturing a brighter hue for my future.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

ADHD submits to magnification

An opportunity to join a Phd candidates study presented itself recently, and I jumped at it. That in of itself is a bit out of character for me. My memories of engaging with a person who was in charge of something as serious as a scientific study are non-existent because in the past I would have been just to scared to even commit.
Yet here I am at home with access to a half hours worth of computer games I must complete 5 out of 7 days for the next 5 weeks.
During the pre-screening I participated in over the phone, there was inkling of a suggestion that I might not qualify (not likely) because I intimated that I was having rather positive success on the meds. It was also proffered that I should not try to pad (you mean, don't resort to hyperbole) my answers in an effort to be included.
It was no problem being honest, and so a face-to-face was scheduled, and I went in today to submit myself to a few tests. This stuff bordered on cool, exciting, frustrating and boring, often in that order, yet I could kinda see the intent, and I walked away with a sense of well-being, maybe because it just feels good to involve myself in this ADHD tribal community.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

ADHD from the 80's

Got to see some good people from my life, two who I've not see in a quarter century.
We're all the same, just a bit older.

Despite the rusty chain, a formerly exuberant Scattered Scott managed to pedal himself, with minimal effort, to 1984--where, at once quite frightening and quite comforting, little had changed. Oh sure, some men now wear gloves for shoes and others live in houses of gold but beneath these superficial accoutrements, Scott would find a forgotten league of kindred souls --men brimming with fantastic ideas but exhausted from thinking about them. Scott was accepted into the fold as if no time had passed. The men dined in near silence and then parted.

Mark Feiden
Spring 2012

Friday, April 27, 2012

ADHD gets back home

I found some chalk in the garage while searching out oil for the bike's chain.
Hyperbole wanted to ride over to the Indian Creek trail, but exuberance distracted me briefly while I scratched out chalky flowers out to the end of the driveway.
Then I scratched the constant mobility itch with 10 miles of pedaling.
I never found any oil.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

ADHD gets whacked in the eye

Helmet and safety glasses safely stowed in the shed

This little injury has been with me on numerous occasions over the course of my life.
Ever since I was born with this head I've been concussing it; not intentionally, or at least not cognizantly, but all the same I have always been hitting my skull against something ... literally and figuratively.